I was listening to a podcast this morning while working in the yard and the idea of “a good life” came up. It was one of a variety of concepts including masculinity, consumption, greed and many more. and I started thinking about what constitutes a good life. As luck would have it I am becoming more familiar with the writings of Marcus Aurelius, the last “good” emperor of Rome.
During his time as Emperor he wrote “Meditations”, his private notes to himself which has become a staple of stoic thought. And an inspiration for many famous leaders such as Teddy Roosevelt, Nelson Mandela and others. In it, Aurelius prescribes the attitudes and actions one must take to lead a good life.
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
One of the things he wrote, was to be observant of your own thinking. This to me, is very reminiscent of Buddhist meditation. You cannot stop the monkey-brain from chattering but you can pull back and observe it. Then gently steer the mind to better, more productive thoughts. You become what you think. As he puts it,
“The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts”.
One thing I have observed in my own life, and something I take to heart is that you are responsible for your own happiness. And by extension, your own unhappiness. I know many people who live with the idea of “If only…”. If only my child would pick up after themselves I could be happy. If only I could make six figures a year, I could be happy. If only I could lose ten pounds, I could be happy.
If only, if only, if only.
What Aurelius notes is that everything that happens to us can be viewed through many lenses. That how you think of an event changes whether it is good or bad. For example, someone dying might be seen as bad thing, a beloved grandmother perhaps. Yet if she was in great pain we might view death as welcome release from suffering. Losing a job might be seen as a terrible event, but if it leads to you finding a better one, then it was a good thing.
One of my personal lessons was missing a bus in Iran. I was in Arge-e-Bam, and I missed the bus to the next town on my trip by a few minutes. It meant I was going to have to wait in the station for a few hours for the next one. A negative event. However, while I was sitting in the station I met another Canadian travelling, Sophie, and the two of us travelled together for the next few weeks. Which was super positive!
“Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself in your way of thinking.”
So I guess in a nutshell, the first step in living a good life, is to think of it as a good life.