So you ever feel like you were meant to do something but you missed the opportunity. Or that you are too old to achieve something? I am struggling with this feeling right now. I feel like I am too old to do some of things I wish I had done.
I wish I came to Japan at a younger age. Learning new languages is hard. When Zuimei and I met he was 28 and learning English. I am now 46 and trying to learn Japanese and it is a struggle.
I am watching videos of potters and they all did apprenticeships in their 20s and here I am in my 40s trying to learn. Because I am older and don’t speak the language I don’t really have a chance of getting an apprenticeship in Japan.
As a result I am teaching myself. Reading what I can, watching what I can. There is so much more I would like to try and I am not sure where to begin.
I had a poor firing this week and it really got me down. Lots of the pots were cracked, because of a stupid decision I made. I had issues with the thermocouple so the firing was off. Some of the pieces I was most excited about turned out to be garbage.
I keep notes of firings and a log of the temperature so there was some learning, which means it wasn’t a total waste but it feels like I am a bit adrift.