This is the least fun topic ever. But everyone dies, just like everyone poops. By taking some time to prepare for your own end-of-life, no matter what age, you can save your family and friends some hassle at at a time when they are already distraught. Well, hopefully their distraught.
I can tell you from first-hand experience it is gut-wrenching to do. To imagine your own death and what should happen afterwards. In 2024 an ultrasound found some lumps in my abdomen. One was wrapped around my aorta and the other was next to my pancreas. When you get referred to the pancreatic cancer center, things get serious – really quick. Luckily, it turned out that I had follicular lymphoma, not pancreatic cancer. But the shock of it spurred me to get prepared.
End-of-Life Estate Planning
A will doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. In many places, you can get a basic will done for a few hundred dollars. You can even do them online. I did mine using an online service called Willful, and I think it was $150. It wasn’t expensive and pretty straightforward. Mind you I don’t have children or millions of dollars to divide among heirs. A will simply says what you would like to happen to your estate. Dying without a will, however, means the government decides who gets your stuff. And their decisions might not match what you wanted.
First you should name an executor. This is the person who will make sure people follow your end-of-life wishes.. It does not need to be your spouse, or even family. It can be anyone, but it should be someone you trust. Keep in mind being an executor is work so you should speak with the person before you assign them. And you can assign a back up Executor just in case. The executor also makes sure to pay all your debts as well.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours ~ Yogi Berra
You need to document assets. An asset is anything you own. It could be real estate, vehicles, jewelry, art. You need to state what item goes to which person. This is important because it can stop a lot of bad feels when it comes time. I have seen and heard how bad it can get when family members start fighting over possessions. You can also gift money in your will and specify when those funds get paid out. It is common for funds to be held in trust for children until they reach a specific age.
If you have kids or pets, name guardians in your will. Nobody wants to think about this, but if both parents die, who raises the kids? Have that conversation with potential guardians first – don’t surprise them by naming them in your will.
Once you have made a will, update it when major life events happen – marriage, kids, divorce, buying a house, moving.
Financial Management
Get you financial house in order. Name beneficiaries on everything – RRSPs, TFSAs, life insurance, even bank accounts. Beneficiaries bypass the will and probate process, which means your beneficiaries will get the money faster and with less hassle. Make sure that you want these people to get the money though. Don’t name people thinking they will distribute the funds.
Power of attorney is also crucial. This should be done before end-of-life, because if you become unable to make decisions, who do you want handling your finances and healthcare decisions? Pick someone you trust completely, because they’ll have access to everything. You can also assign one person to have financial POA and another health POA. In my case, both are my husband since he should be able to determine my end of life care and what happens to my finances.
Make sure you create a list of all your accounts, the name of the institution and the account numbers. This will make life easier for your executor and your family and they won’t have to go on a hunt for them. I know someone who’s mother passed away and they kept finding bank statements all over the place. She had accounts at almost every bank in town! A nice thing to find perhaps, but a list would have been helpful.
Funeral Arrangements
This is one of those things I think you either feel strongly about, or you don’t give a crap. What do you want to happen to your remains after your death? Some religions require interment within a specific period of time. Others prefer cremation. Then the ashes are sometimes interred and sometimes scattered.
You can also request what you would like for a funerary service. Do you want a mass or service? What about a celebration of life, or a wake? Do you want people to sit Shiva?
In my case I have donated my body to science. I think my body would be pretty interesting for med students quite frankly. They could count the number of broken bones, or check out all the hardware I have in my body, or play find the disease! Ah…good times.
Other End-of-Life things
Make sure you provide access to any digital accounts you have. I think this one is easy to overlook but it shouldn’t be forgotten. For example I have a Flickr account I have had for decades. I keep all my digital photos there. My family might want some of those photos. Not the hundreds I have of flowers maybe, but the other ones with people in them. You often read on Reddit where someone has died and people keep posting on their Facebook account.
If any of you cry at my funeral I’ll never speak to you again. ~ Stan Laurel
Create a contact list of friends and who should be notified of your death. I don’t know if my family has the contact information of my friends. I don’t think so. So it is important that you write down all this information so your executor can notify people.. Really I think this is just courteous so people don’t have to find out months later. This should also include notifications. That is, should there be a notice in the local paper. Frequently people might have one in the town they’re from and one in the town they died in. Keep in mind posting are not free so you might want to set a little something aside for this.
You will have lots of stuff that isn’t really estate type stuff. That is, it’s not important or valuable enough to be stated in your will. Think things like pots and pans, clothing, toiletries. If there is something specific you want done with this, make sure you write it down somewhere. It doesn’t need to be in your will, but it should be somewhere your executor can find it. Like if you want it all donated to a specific charity.
Preparing for the inevitable may feel uncomfortable, but it’s one of the most compassionate things you can do for those you love. Taking the time to organize your will, set up power of attorney, document your assets, and plan your funeral wishes ensures clarity and peace of mind when it matters most. Life is unpredictable, but your final wishes don’t have to be. Start today—because the best gift you can leave behind is certainty and care for the people who matter most. And this is when you know you’re seriously adulting!