About Me

Dave Hamel I work as a product manager of web analytics for the CBC.

I am interested in a wide variety of things. Painting, cycling and video games are among my favorite activities.

 

February 2010
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Kevin Smith needs to loose weight

Kevin Smith would be a very hot bear if he were gay.  Well I suppose he is still a bear regardless of orientation.

But he needs to start taking care of himself. He does an interview with George Strombo at the CBC and he even admits he’s fat.  He sweats profusely a lot.  Considering he makes brilliant films like Clerks, Chasing Amy & Dogma it would be a real shame for him to keel over like John Candy and Chris Farley.  Kevin, start taking care of yourself!

Just donate the money

They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.  Well hell hath no fury like Dave when he feels cheated either.  I recently bought a bottle of Dawn dish detergent by Proctor and Gamble.  I bought it because of this ad

So yes, the advertising works.  The song by Joe Purdy titled Wash Away (reprise) along with the images of cute little animals had me.

So I went and purchased a couple of bottles which advertised that they would donate a dollar for every bottle.  What it actually reads is that 1 bottle can = $1.00.  It might not as well, it depends.

Depends on what?  I hear you ask.  Well it depends on whether or not you manage to read this tiny print which requires you to go to this website and fill in a bunch of information.


Now I am not opposed to companies making money.  I love money, it’s awesome!  And companies that support cute little ducklings get my support.  But not if you then make me jump through hoops.  This makes me want to punch the sales exec who came up with it in the face…twice.

Just donate the fucking dollar and I will buy your damn soap.


Random Images

Random Images


Animals Vs. Dominos

Man, the Japanese are weird sometimes.

Random Images

Here is the latest batch of random images.  I have a bad habit of just grabbing images without writing down who did it, or where I got it from.  If anyone recognizes their work please send me an email so I can give credit where credit is due and link to your website.

Thanks, Dave

Customer Service FAIL

I am unhappy with the customer service from the BMO investor line.  It took 10 days to respond to one of my email questions and 5 business days to process a simple purchase of a mutual fund.  Cause the transaction took so long I thought it had failed and processed another one.  As a result my account was overdrawn and I had to put more money in.

Pissed off, I started looking around at other alternatives.  I looked at iTrade from Scotiabank.  I wrote them an email asking how long they take to process a transaction including mutual funds.  The email address was provided on their contact us page and I checked the help section and mutual fund sections for the answer; not find it I sent an email.  This was their response:

Dear Client:

Thank you for choosing Scotia iTRADE.

Please contact our trading desk to get more detail information.

Feel free to reply with any further comments or questions you may have.

For further assistance, please contact us at 1-888-283-7787 or (416) 214-6457 from 8am to 9pm ET weekdays or 8am to 6pm ET weekends, or go to http://www.scotiaitrade.com and visit our Help Center. You can access the Help Center by clicking on the “help” button located at the top of each page. The Help Center provides detailed instructions, definitions, and services to assist you in navigating your Scotia iTRADE account.

Sincerely,

XXXXX XXXXXXX

Financial Service Representative

Scotia iTRADE

There are a few problems with this.  First off, I am not a customer and after this email, probably never will be.  Customers should have a seperate help/contact line.  It can go to the same place but it should be differentiated so that customer service representative can (a) address the email correctly (b) better understand the nature of the question/issue.  A customer having issues is much more important than if I have troubles.

Secondly, sending me an email telling me to check your website isn’t helping and if I wanted to call I would have.  I want an email so I have the answer in writing.  If someone on the phone can answer the question then someone should be able to answer it by email.  It isn’t a tough question or even a trade secret!

“Feel free to reply with any further comments or questions you may have.”

Ya I have one, “Why won’t you answer my f*cking question?”

Simple and funny

Garfield minus Garfield is a simple idea of removing the main character and focus of Jim Davis’ comic strips to create new deeper meaning illustrations.  Some profound, some funny and some more than a little schizophrenic.

Fizzbuzz

Jeff Atwood, who writes the blog Coding Horror tweeted about issues in interviewing programmers who cannot program. Which he had posted about a couple of years ago. (I guess he was tweeting because the issue has not been resolved).

Write a program that prints the numbers from 1 to 100. But for multiples of three print “Fizz” instead of the number and for the multiples of five print “Buzz”. For numbers which are multiples of both three and five print “FizzBuzz”.

Jeff was responding to several other authors who had noted the same issue with finding qualified programmers.

When I was a student at Sheridan College, we had a great teacher named John.  John looked exactly like Gandolf the Grey;  if Gandolf was fond of the drink, smoked like a chimney and repeatedly told Frodo, “that’s a ‘you understood’”.  As luck would have it Lord of the Rings came out the year I was in John’s class so us students would constantly rib each other “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”.  Good times.

One thing that became clear to me fairly quickly as a former teacher is that there is a basic level of understanding that we assume people have.  John’s ‘you understood’ was his way of stating he expected us to know that basic level of information.  His frustration however was people in the class who clearly did not understand.  I recall John’s lament that some students in his “C#” class couldn’t even turn on the computer without instructions.

One thing that became apparent in the class is that there is never “one solution”. The Fizzbuzz problem for example could be solved in a variety of ways, in a number of different languages and while the syntax would change the concepts would not.

Those basic concepts are the key to everything.

Programming consists of three structures, or rules.  I am sure if I was a ComSci student I would know the proper terms but I am an artist so just bear with me. The three structures are the loop, the decision and the step.

A loop is: repeat doing this step until this criteria is met.

A decision is:  If X is true then do this otherwise do that.

A step is : Do this, then do that.

Everything in life can be broken down into these component parts. Everything.  For example if you wanted to go to the store you would start with a decision, “Am I at the store?” if so then stop, go to store.  Walking is a loop, “While not at store, keep walking”.  It could even be broken down more, stand up then get keys, then lock door, then…and so on.

For the Fizzbuzz problem you need to run a loop that counts from 1 to 100.  Then you need to add decision statements that when a certain criteria is met something else happens.  That’s it, simple.

Programming isn’t about languages it’s about how you think.  Languages are merely syntax with which you express those thoughts.  Eloquent programming is how well you combine the two.

More thinking of email

Here is what I would like to see with email marketing.  This is an example of the way a system would work based on a few purchases.  I am not sure how hard it would be to set up, but I think it would be really cool and effective.